Collection Complete

Pet lover Anita has setup a surprise party for her newly retired husband Jonas, but as soon as he steps through the door the reality of retirement hits him and he looses interest in celebrating. Jonas does not feel like he is ready to live out the rest of his brief life around the house with little to keep him occupied, especially since he is not used to being around his odd ball wife and her many adopted pets. After a few days roll by, things only get worse and he starts to loose his grip on sanity.. but he is not the only one having a hard time with the changes.



There is really no gore in this film, but that is acceptable considering the morbid story makes up for the loss. Though I will note there is a brief ending filled with amusing special effects. Entertaining and definitely worth some time.

Natalie Suleman

Wow... I just want to put in my few cents since this is becoming a rapid story. I watched a brief interview and she clearly stated that she was lonely and made the decision to have an arranged pregnancy since she was unable to hold stable relationships and have another child of her own. When she found out that she was pregnant with octuplets she was pleasantly surprised, as if she is a stray bitch in heat and about to have a litter of puppies, rather than logically discussing an alternative to this situation. It is not like this is a woman in a long term relationship with failing pregnancies wanting a large family, she is a deranged hag having a hard time financially caring for her ALREADY 6 fucking kids when she made this decision to pop out 8 more for her sitter to watch.... So, this clown car twat is soaking up assistance from tax payers because she was 'lonely'. She had 6 fucking kids to start with... SIX! This is already an abnormally big family in my opinion. Also, half of them are mentally disabled(BIG SURPRISE!), so the chances are ridiculously high for these premature babies to have health problems.


Wow, you will pick up all the guys now

Somebody needs to get these kids away from this nut and adopt them out unless they die premature, and give her a fucking tubal ligation. Or, I can fucking rip out her ovaries if they want to take a cheaper route, since she is sucking up everyone's money anyways.

Jack Brooks Monster Slayer

As a small child Jack watched in utter fear as his perfect parents and kid sister are unexpectedly attacked and killed by a monster while on their yearly camping trip. Now Jack is facing anguish and guilt from the traumatizing experience, and has to work with his explosive temper. With this burden in mind, Jack is also trying to balance work as a plumber, a bitch for a girlfriend, and night classes at a local college. Though his life is soon to change. After a class, his professor (Robert Englund) asks if he would be kind enough to take a look at his pipes as he is having some issues with a house he is renovating. Ofcourse, Jack takes a trip by the house that evening. While working on the issue, the pressure from clogged pipes expands to the back yard and an illuminating crack begins to show through the lawn. Soon a dark presence is released and Jack is again faced with his fear of monsters.



I really liked this movie and will probably even consider getting myself a copy. This was not as monster filled as I worried. For me, monsters usually mean cheese, and I can only handle so much.. so I try and steer clear... but I decided to give it a chance and I am very happy that I did. This was an entertaining plot and well put together in my opinion. A needed refresh from all the remakes currently circulating our theaters. This was a bit weak on realistic gore, as all the gore in the film was green and such to fit the 'monster' category... but it was obviously put together with love by the fx crew so it has just as much respect from me, even if I prefer realism. Also, they gave me perverted screen shots haha.



One thing I want to ask though, what in the fuck is wrong with people? I did a quick look over on IMDB and My Name is Bruce is almost hitting 10 and this movie is down in the 6 range with an assortment of bad reviews. Are you kidding me? This movie was the only thing that kept me from falling into a vegetable state after watching My Name is Bruce. This movie had some fun special effects, and had a very funny script and with well selected actors(except for the supposedly 'hot' chicks). The lead as Jack cracked me up, and Robert Englund was obviously a handful... Seriously..

Give me some sugar, baby

I originally heard about My Name is Bruce some time ago as a friend of mine told me it was having a limited local preview. After picking through more information, we found out to our excitement that it was being introduced my Bruce Campbell himself, but it was happening over the coming weekend... In case you haven't picked up yet, that means that if you didn't have a ticket already then you are out of luck because it was obviously sold out. I don't think I am exaggerating when I say that there is a ridiculous amount of Bruce fans here in Portland, let alone the Northwest area.



Flash forward to now. Netflix finally mailed me the movie. I was so excited I am surprised I didn't chew on the Blu-Ray disc. After about 10 minutes into the movie, I felt my stomach knot... After all this anticipation, Bruce threw out a cheesy tongue and cheek. Obviously within his style, but he could have done a LOT better than a few low laughs. Do I still respect my sugar? You bet your ass! But I won't be running out to get this movie, but I am sure there is a line of his fans that will so I am sure he will make a few off of it.

For those of you that are not aware..
Story is of a young man named Jeff that accidentally releases the Asian spirit Guan-Di when having a get together with his friends at the towns old mining cemetery. This vengeful spirit kills his friends within minutes, and begins to terrorize the town. Surviving the incident, Jeff turns to his idolized hero Bruce Campbell to save the town. Little does this kid understand, Bruce is not a gun wielding Ash like portrayed in the movies, so everyone is in for a rough battle against Guan-Di.



Lets go over my traditional now. I won't be buying this, and this movie seems to be either hot or cold with people... so it is a partial recommendation, atleast that is the best way I could recommend it. If this is a quick Netflix rental, or a friend of yours grabbed a copy from a local video shop, give it your time and see what you think. Some people really like it, as this was an added recommendation from a friend of Rays.. but then again my friend Shanda who usually has some questionable taste was on my side that it wasn't worth the wait. So don't buy into a side and just see for yourself. But as for my side, I also want to point out that the gore was also a let down. There was really no selection for morbid taste, mainly the same 'off with his head' shots and that was it for the movie... and that is it for my review

Ah yes...

I had this video posted a few months ago on another profile, but I love this song so much that I have to move it on over...

Tales From the Crypt Presents:

Dead Wait



Directed by Tobe Hooper this is the story of Red (I want to point out that only Kimberly makes a good ginger!), who is set to smuggle a rare black pearl being held on a small Jamaican Island. The owner of the pearl is an aging man that owns a plantation, so Red decides to get hired by the man to get closer to his precious piece. After reviewing things, it is decided by Red that he should get to the pearl through the owners unfaithful girlfriend, Catrine. After a night of affair with the mistress, Red wakes determined to get to the pearl, but little does he know that he is not the only one with plans.


Off with the gingers head!

This is not really the kind of movie that would usually interest me, at least plot wise, but surprisingly it kept me fairly involved and I did enjoy the short. The gore was great, and very entertaining.

Brass Hearses

Tales From the Crypt presents ‘People Who Live in Brass Hearses’



Story of misfit brothers Billy and Virgil. Billy was recently in prison for the past year on accusations that he stole money from the Ice Cream warehouse that he worked at, and now that he is out he is convincing his brother Virgil that they need to get back at the company and rip off the department. After making relatively solid plans, they start on their mission the following day, but it starts bad and ends worse.



First off, let me point out that this features an actor that always put a smile on my face. In a good creepy way he is attractive, and he usually plays odd fucked up parts… Two words… Brad Dourif. This episode was impressive for being a short made for TV, and is actually now a favorite of mine from the series. The plot was pretty good, acting was OBVIOUSLY good, and the gore was exceptional! If you haven't seen this, do so immediately!

I love the Gibb brothers... and Travolta

Ghoul-Aid

I was surfing some blogs this morning and came across the best drink I think I have ever seen. Seriously! I now wish I had social gatherings because this would be AMAZING to serve to guest!



Ingredients:
• 1 ounce Finlandia Vodka
• 1 ounce Chambord
• 3 ounces Pomegranate Juice
• squeeze of lime
Directions: Shake and serve on the rocks.

Garnish:
• canned lychee in syrup, drained
• raspberry (or other red-colored) preserves
• blueberry
Directions: Dry lychee & fill cavity with red preserves. Insert Blueberry, blossom end facing out. Spear with a toothpick or cocktail skewer. Gross!

"You Have No Heart..."

I spent last night writing out updates for my blog since I have been horribly behind. This fortunately meant smoking my Luxury Light Capri's and having a glass of Pinot Noir while sorting and watching a selection of horror. Haha, I felt like a catty snob from Dynasty. Perfect night if you ask me..



I have been reviewing a few of the Tales From the Crypt VHS's I recently scored at a local thrift store. This episode Seance is of a con artist couple, Alison and Benny, as they chase a widows fortune by playing her spiritual adviser, hoping to mimic her late husband and convince her to give them her money. While trying to act out the seance, things go horribly wrong...



Decent and had a nice turn for the worse, but rather cheesy and overplayed with the one liner ending. Gore was a bit amateur, but still good, especially since this was aired as late night tv. I honestly wouldn't pay for this episode alone, but thankfully the trio it is included on is well worth a few bucks to have in a collection.

The Dardos Award

The Dardos Award is given for recognition of cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values transmitted in the form of creative and original writing. These stamps were created with the intention of promoting fraternization between bloggers, a way of showing affection and gratitude for work that adds value to the Web.



Wopsploitation

A long while ago I stumbled on this blog when searching for some decent horror review sites. Needless to say, I fell in love with it at first read and kept daily tabs. Attempted to get to know the writing man himself, Big Wop, and after a bit of time we finally started talking and hit it off, and now he has me on here as well. This guy has valid opinions, detailed reviews, and a great sense of humor... Also, if you read back you will see a glorious little shot of him with mah Tom Savini. I think Ray and I need to pack up and head East to be near my people.

The Wop-iverse

What? Oh yes... B.W is so important that I have to mention the man twice! This is his slightly more personal blog, and still just as entertaining to read. Without doubt my favorite little shaven head guy.


Happiness is ideal, it is the work of the imagination

This blog is hosted by a woman I have talked with for years, and I love her to pieces. You will see a selection of makeup reviews and suggestions, as well as Gothic clothing and miscellaneous items such as out of print magazines.


The Candy Blog

This is my porn.

The Nail Queen

This blog simply blows me away... The nails done are a complete work of art, and I have spent a great amount of time just admiring. Also the shape used for the nails is to die for!

3D in 2009

Before spending the unfortunate time and money to see Valkyrie, a movie was previewed that caught my attention for both bad and good reasons. Any horror fan will probably have th same thoughts when I say the title My Bloody Valentine 3D... "Bastards remaking ANOTHER classic"... "Ooh, but 3D sounds nice"...

Well after days of whining I finally convinced Ray that we had to go and I will even pay... and as far as I am concerned BW owes me $20 haha! We got there atleast 15mins early to hopefully ensure good seats, and it should have been a red flag when the theater was empty and by the introduction statement "Please put on your 3D glasses now" there were only eleven people, including myself and Raymond.



First impression is the movie had a horrible flow and immediately jumped into action. No suspense, no needed buildup, but a mining pick threw the back of a kids head with a CGI animated 'eyeball' impaled on the tip. Fun to watch thanks to our overpriced snazzy single use glasses, but bad for a movie.

After this meaningless introduction of gore thanks to disposable teenagers, the scene closes with a group of fleeing survivors running to their truck outside the mine, making the decision to leave behind a fallen friend at the entrance. This kid Tom lives to see another day though because a group of parents are on the killers tracks and have a shooting showdown.



Years later Tom returns back to his feared hometown to sell the mines owned by his late father. While meeting with old friends and dealing with the mines, murder starts up again in the town leaving them to think that the killer has returned from the grave or a copy cat is in action.

Again, this had a horrible flow. The plus side with this movie is it actually had a good idea to refresh the original, but it seems like it got in the wrong hands. The acting was bad, but I will say that they had a weak script to work from. This is an obvious example of a pushed out movie that was only geared to make theatrical benefit without caring for a lasting impression. This is unfortunate because it had potential to be something really good but will make a horrible rental and I question the judgment of any individual that would consider purchasing it from their personal collection. Also, to rub some salt on the wound the gore was repetitive or fully computer animated... both are big no-no's in my book.

Im waiting for your review BW... waiting...

The Attic

This is a total chick thriller, and I loved every minute of it. Beautiful and well dressed actress Carrie Snodgress took the lead role as Louise, the aging and troubled local town woman. Nineteen years prior to the point in the movie, her soon to be husband went missing on their wedding day. Some speculate he got cold feet, but Louise did not doubt their love and was sure there may be a more tragic explanation.



Because this haunts Lou, she has become an alcoholic and is now facing early 'retirement' from her job as a librarian due to a previous mental breakdown at work. Aside from these hard to cope with issues, she also is at the will of her abusive handicap father who undermines her daily and is over controlling. This has left Louise without much for a social outlet and held her to the home to suffer in her own flowing insanity.



Over the next hour you watch the story play out and unfortunately an ending that is expected. Because the film is rather straight to the point, I can't rave, but I will admire. Louise's acting was so dramatic, so classic. The soundtrack was simple but worked with the movie, and is still lingering in my head.

I would recommend this for a lady feeling emotion. Great flick for those surviving the 6 day bleed and want something to cry about.

Gah

Even more behind than usual. I did manage to get pictures of swatches, but I didn't get around to making an official blog. I should be receiving my needed computer parts tomorrow afternoon so soon I will be back on track and on my own familiar system.

Though there was an accomplishment tonight. I made raviolis with partial wheat dough and a basic cheese filling since Ray is so picky anymore. This was my first time making them on my own, not to mention I was racing against the clock to have dinner done, so I didn't really get any pictures but did snap a quick one after rolling out(this method is a lot better then freehand!). If anybody is interested in the recipe let me know, I would list it now but I am getting a headache :(

Put't in mah mawth!

Yay, I went on a sugar craze this morning and finally did a recipe I had been wanting to for years considering it is almost useless to get in the states unless you want to pay extra for it being internationally stocked or get it from a fine candy store. I made honeycombs and did half of my amount dipped in milk chocolate -=angels singing in the background as they string their harps=-... but most importantly, I want to share the love and make sure everyone else makes them as well! Downside though is this candy should be consumed within about a 24hr period because it gathers moisture, which makes it very chewy and that uncomfortable stick to your teeth 'no no'. Usually this isn't a downside, but my love Raymond won't eat sweets anymore so any dessert I make is dependent on me to consume haha.

This recipe is fairly small, and you will notice that I have odd measurements so you can double the recipe for practical use or work with it as I did.

Dipped in chocolate (you can tell in the middle piece that the chocolate overheated, its okay.. I enjoyed it regardless haha)


Texture closeup


1/8 cup Honey
1/4 cup Light Corn Syrup
1 Cup White Sugar
1 1/2 teaspoon Baking Soda
1/8 cup water

First off is preparation, carefully line an 8x8 pan with aluminum foil and be sure to gently press all edges so that the appearance is fairly smooth(otherwise the candy will get between the cracks and become difficult to peel away). Next gently sift the baking soda into a small bowl and set it aside near the area you will be working in for convenience. If you have a candy thermometer, it can be very helpful though I was able to successfully make this treat without(though I will admit my first batch was a dud). Also keep in mind that this will generally triple in size once the baking soda is added, so use a pot a little larger then you would think, and it is very helpful if it has a long handle for the pouring stage as it will require you to work quickly with a boiling mixture that can cause severe burns if mishandled.

Over medium heat combine the honey, syrup, sugar, and water until the sugar has mostly dissolved. Do not stir vigorously as you want to avoid a lot of side splatter so that the sugar does not crystallize along the edges. At this point, stop stirring the mixture and allow in to gradually boil until softly past a light amber stage. If you have a Thermometer I believe this should be just before 300d. Remove from heat and pour in the baking soda and rock the pot to help incorporate the soda, or you can use a wooden spoon if preferred. Only stroke this several times and then immediately pour into your lined pan and allow to cool.

Once this has cooled you can lift the foil with candy from the dish and slowly peel the foil off to discard. For controlling reasons because this will crumble when divided, take a long piece of plastic wrap and loosely fold it over the honeycomb so that you can gently break pieces with the force of your palm, or with a quick palm strike with a knife to get about 1-2" amounts.

At this point you can enjoy the honeycomb, or dip it into your choice of chocolate for decadence. Remember that if you do enjoy chocolate(which I HIGHLY suggest!) that you can dump any left over crumbs into your remaining chocolate and they are also spectacular with no waste!