Wednesday, December 31, 2008


I have been sick for the past few days, so I have not felt up to movie patrol or updating blogs. Thankfully though, it seems like the worse is over. I haven't been able to get a full nights rest thanks to blowing my nose every 10mins, and coughing up phlegm.. just swell. Also the fun body aches and chills, as well as a funky head. But this morning I am only stuffy so I have a dirty house that has been waiting for my health.

To help motivate myself I have a song dedication, which was recently sparked by a small discussion between Kimberly. When I worked retail it was oldies all day, and every time I heard the dance beat to this song I would go into fantasy and see my Italian Stallion in disco glory set back in the movie Maniac ... So enjoy ;)

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Preparation for War

Something that was incredibly entertaining was being snowed in, and having weapons :) Being the ladies we are, Winter and myself took the oppurtunity to update some pictures and have fun in the snow. Visual blog time!

Why do I look Asian!?

I said get down on the ground!

Manuel, Winter, Myself, Raymond

Note: A few of these are cut off, so you may have to right click the image and choose to 'View Image'

Men in Uniform

Ieemmmmmm back! We took a needed vacation to Washington to visit my favorite lady, so I apologize for being a bit behind. Updates are not very filling as we mostly just laid back and relaxed during our stay, but we did go out and see Valkyrie on Christmas. I will NEVER do that again, ever! We walked in before previews or anything like that, and we were stuck down in the front row pretty much staring at the ceiling to try and watch the movie. My background on the movie was limited as I saw one mini preview commercial, and didn’t have a clue what time during the war it was about, or even the character outline... but I did remember seeing Tom Cruise in uniform, and every Oprah commercial I see he is guest on... so it was obvious what kind of direction the movie would be in, and that it would have absolutely no understanding for the movement so I wasn’t very excited that we would be paying to watch Hollywood pump out another waaa-waaaa story, but I didn’t have a choice.

At opening for the movie I was excited thinking that it would be played out in German as the subtitles were already pressed, but it quickly faded to English so I was disappointed. It opens to Colonel Claus (Tom Cruise) writing in his diary his regrets to partake in the war, and how he is torn between defending his country for his family and following guidance from a man that he viewed as evil, being Adolf Hitler. Moments after closing his journal the area is bombed and under gun fire and he is left crippled on the ground later resulting to an amputated arm, several missing fingers on his working arm, and a missing eye. With pride he attempts to follow his place in the group regardless of his injuries, but he soon is in final decision that Hitler must be brought down from power and the war needs to be pushed to its end.

I have mixed feelings in regards to the war, but to keep from offending the vast majority of people from misunderstanding I will keep most under wrap and not get to blunt. One thing that really gets under my skin about this Hollywood produced piece is that anybody who understood Hitler’s view and defended their land were marked as villains. I will again admit that I do not agree with some aspects of the war, but Hitler was picking up the pieces of his fallen country and trying to group his men to honor the land again. Life isn’t a Disney movie and sometimes you need to pull up your boots.

Ahem, anyways… The gore and battle wounds in this movie amazed me. I was very impressed with the work done, even the CGI touchups and usually I am dead set against any use of ‘Nerd Gore’(You like that B.W?). The costume department also did a nice job and definitely worth noting, it kept me and mah lady Winter squirming in our seats with enjoyment (at least SOMETHING kept us happy). One thing that I got excited about in the movie is when they started talking about Mussolini coming for a visit, but they never even showed an actor portraying him. I was pretty heart broken because I like seeing impersonators, they amuse me. I was also irritated because they went on a Dago trip and started with the ‘Greasy Italian’ shit.

I am sure most of the people will run out and see this because it is imprinted that the war was horrible and Hitler was a bad man. I would not recommend this to most, but in a visual way I think it was beautiful (uniform, backgrounds, gore, etc). So don’t rush out and spend office price, but if you have interest I think this would make an entertaining rental.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Double Vision

So I finished watching the movie The Marsh. I tend to have first preference for haunt films, so when I saw this on the ‘Watch Instant’ section on Netflix I excitedly had to give it a view. This movie had a flow, but far from original, and half way through my head was noticeably bobbing as I tried to stay awake. Thankfully watching this movie did not rape any extra money from me, or effect my Netflix que...

Follow the lead character Claire take a needed break from life (writing children’s books) as she is affected by reoccurring night terrors. When deciding to make some time for herself she was watching a television special on a vacation house, when she realized it is the same home that she saw in her dreams... so of course she decided to go there. She arrives and begins to remember faces of the town’s people from her nightmare, and strange occurrences in the house which later are confirmed to be a haunting. So through this film you watch her walk through her memory and tie her reoccurring issues to the town.

This film was overplayed for me, and it tried really hard to do the ‘fright’ clips even from the very beginning, so it got old fast. And by fright I mean the cheesy loud sounds or an unexpected person popping up to surprise you, and after years of horror movies these seldom work on an individual like myself (except there was one scene that got me). So, would I recommend this? Nope, not unless you have never seen a haunt movie before… Then this may be effective and enjoyable. But being a fan of the area, a film needs to be more original (or maybe entertaining?) to make an impression on me.

But never fear! To give you a pickup from The Marsh disappointment, I will give you a good recommendation. There is a movie I saw a few months back and since then have been craving to watch it again, and happily plan to add it to my collection. This movie is Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon.

This movie really struck a note with me because one thing I like to think about is the normality and basic life that even serial killers live out. Just imagine how it would be to sit around and have dinner with a killer, actually befriending and getting close to someone like Ted Bundy. That is my perfect vision, and in this film you watch a documentary crew follow the killer Leslie. Along the way you will learn a few of his tricks, watch him stalk his prey, and get a feel for the humor and real person behind the mask. I want to note that the actor for Leslie did such an impressive job I ended up getting a small movie crush on the guy. Impressive.

This movie kept me involved through the entire play and was very funny, and by the end the ‘horror’ aspect came to play (the beginning would be considered more of a comedy for darker individuals). Also, there is a limited appearance by Robert Englund... which was a nice surprise. And let me proudly note, this was primarily filmed in Oregon!

This movie had some fun death, but I wasn’t focusing on filling a blood lust (big surprise for anybody that knows me) so I was not let down by quality, but delighted that a movie was made in a vision that I have always liked to fantasize. Recommended? You bet your ass!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

I Drink Your Blood

Warm out of my player is a grindhouse special of I Drink Your Blood. This film opens to a group of hippies surrounding a camp fire and performing a sacrifice for the father, Satan. Just off in a distance is a local town girl watching in fear, who is soon noticed by the group and beaten (possibly raped) for witnessing the act. When morning breaks it is time for the Satanic band to move on, but they are experiencing car trouble and have to look for shelter in the nearby town instead. This particular town, to their advantage, is becoming a ghost town due to recent construction work so most that remains is a small family (including the beaten girl from the night before) and their bakery, while the rest of the area consist of boarded homes.

The odd group are quickly noticed by the family and the grandfather is ready to set them straight for having way with his granddaughter. The intimidation doesn’t get the elder man far, as he lays defeated at the gangs feet and LCD is dropped in his mouth to keep him calm. At this point the nosy little grandson is looking for ol’ gramps and manages to get him home so that he can attempt revenge of his own(Tough kid to try and go up against 8 psychos). On his way to hopefully shoot the band members, the kid runs into a rabid dog which is put from its misery and its blood is used to contaminate the group instead. This is where things get even weirder and by the following morning those in the town become infected and the movies ends with a zombie feel. A lesson learned is not to have sex because women will spread rabies, and never buy meat pies for $.25!

To get this out of the way I want to point out that this movie twisted my panties in a bad way with its unnecessary use of dead animals, and this is coming from a woman that was raised with a gun in one hand and fresh meat in another. In the situation of food, I feel that it is understandable to provide for yourself or family… But I am against unnecessary killing under normal circumstances. To start the film by cutting a chicken’s throat and watching its head bob around as it dies is not my cup of tea. Not to mention killing rats, dragging a dead goat, beating a rabbit, and a young boy ‘killing’ a German shepherd. It doesn’t show the dog dying, and hopefully I would like to think that the dog was not actually killed, but the last view is a close up of the dog lying lifeless with blood on its neck. So to keep myself from getting upset, I am just going to tell myself that it was a dog actor regardless of the grade of film and being made in a time when animal death was a cheap alternative for easy squirms in movies. I am NOT for PETA or anything of the sort so don’t get that impression from my remark, I just have a solid view on mortality.

This movie had some entertaining gore, and I was actually impressed with the realism of the severed body parts. Though this movie had an original plot it is not something I would feel is necessary in my collection... and with that I think one could live without viewing. BUT if you want a movie in the background while you sit around and throw a few back with friends, this would work great because it did have some good humor and the ending quote was so cheesy I could barely keep it together… It made me feel like I finished watching a old informative film about the dangers of rabies.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Where Is My Anatomical Dummy?!

As a child one of the scariest things for me were mannequins, dolls, or even teddy bears(god help me after seeing The Pit), so when I saw the movie Pin I could not believe the idea that a child actually accepted guidance or lessons from what was believed to be a talking and skinless display dummy. Seriously (Seriously?), that should have been a red flag. But setting a few of my childhood fears aside, this was actually an interesting movie and I liked it as a psychological thriller.

The main character is Leon, who doesn’t get adequate love from his OCD crazed mother or his distant father, so he looks to a life cast anatomical mannequin named Pin that is held at his father’s health office. Growing up, Leon and his Sister Ursula would visit this dummy during check ups or when in the company of their father, and since their father had a talent of ventriloquism he would talk with his children through Pin. With Leon’s emotional state, he was left believing that Pin was real even when progressing through High School. When his father realized that Leon was spending evenings in his office carrying full conversations with the dummy, it was quickly decided that the dummy had to go and Leon wasn’t doing so good. The father figured to leave Pin after a speech at a local Hospital but during the rushed drive to the clinic they got in a deadly crash leaving both parents dead, but Pin in the backseat waiting for Leon’s assistance.

This movie guides you through Leon’s struggle with his multiple personalities as he keeps Pin part of the family in his newly inherited estate, but with this you watch Ursula helpless in trying to live a normal life while still accepting and caring for her unstable brother. The movie ends in the progression that is expected, but it is still interesting to watch Leon’s mind unravel as he tries to keep his idea of ‘perfection’ together. Gore was not a necessity in this movie, but there is a little deep red to fill our morbid desires.

"Im Directing This Fucking Movie!"

So my next piece is dedicated to Last House on Dead End Street. The mood of this picture is pretty raw with the classic 70’s feel thanks to the overuse of brown, not to mention the picture quality and its cherished burn marks, dust, and crackled audio. During the film you follow Terry as he raises hell with his black hair and midnight leather jacket and dry Eastern accent. This film starts with Terry being released from jail due to drug charges, and listening to his scattered thoughts as he expresses his expanding grudge for humanity and the idea of revenge by making snuff films.

First step is by intimidating his old and unfortunate friend, who happens to be a camera man, into helping him setup his idea. Following is a set of good looking women to help juice up the film and help keep him occupied. On set and rolling you are introduced to the first victim whom is helplessly tied to a beam as Terry takes the key role and portrays himself as a god controlling life. Things progress and new movies are needed so you sit back and watch Terry spin out of control in his power drenched insanity as he and his group torture and record those unfortunate for being fortunate.

The gore in this movie was impressive for the era and tastefully done with opera music playing (or suspenseful heart beat) and various camera angles. This film included a few climatic pieces including dismemberment and disemboweling and a killing that makes you want to pop in Driller Killer. The characters did build and this had a filling story line, but it may be for an acquired taste because it has a mellow flow which I myself need to be in the mood for.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Tearing the Hymen with Thriller: A Cruel Picture

I am hoping to make this a collection of who I am... Everything from Makeup reviews of varied products to an overview of a recent movie to pop out of my player. Likely this will result to be more of the later, but my life cycles so only time will tell....

For starters, primarily northern Oregon has been hit with what we are calling an "Artic Blast" on the news... which is a big deal for us. Usually we are immune to frequent showers in our moldy wooded area, and ever year or so when it does snow we get a light layer of damp snow and it is melted by the following morning.. So to have days of dry powder and on going ice is very frightening, and causing a percentage of us to shelter indoors or grip the steering of our sliding vehicles as we go down the wrong way of a one way road. I have been using this as a time to go over some of my tucked away movies that have been in need of my attention, except for Murder Weapon as I honestly don't know if I have the patience to watch another minute.... So it is noted that a good start to my blogs will be movie related.

Something to keep in mind with my movie reviews is that I refuse to watch films of lower rating if they are available unrated, so all of my notes are collected from full versions(No rated R's here!) unless there is a difficult availability which is noted with some movies that are only VHS release with limited copies. Also, I do not believe in spoiling the full length of a film but I do enjoy providing some detailed reviews so keep this in mind with my movie post.

My update is with Thriller: A Cruel Picture starring a muted and adorable Christina Lindberg(but as a beauty freak I will note, she severely over plucked her left eyebrow). This is actually the first film I have seen with Christina, and from the first time I saw her I realized she was a pedophiles wet dream. At the peak of her career, regardless of her age, she had a very beautiful and mature body with the face of a child. But regardless of my first impressions, I enjoy the style of films she has included herself in so it was bound to end in love.

This particular picture opens to a childlike view of an elder man taking advantage and raping a young Madeleine (Christina) while she ventured in a park. The extent of this left her traumatized, and mute. With time she did continue with daily life, and assisted her family in caring for their farm and providing fresh milk for neighbors. After work was finished, Madeleine would have the oppurtunity to visit the local town, but after missing the bus to her destination she was soon approached by a seemingly geniune man named Tony offering her a ride. From this point on, you are forced to watch her be held by drug force in Tony's home and pimped for his benefit until she finally gets needed revenge.

A great piece of Trivia provided by a friend is that a real corpse was used in a particular scene where you watch Tony slowly stab Madeleine's eye, resulting in her classic eye patch appearance for the film. So with this bit it is noted that there is a nice short of gore but unfortunately the extent of the effects are blood splatter.. and after watching the dark selection of films I have that just simply doesn't do the trick so that is a downside for any gore hounds. Something else to make note of is that there are minutes of clips that include closeup views of practical sex as well as anal sex and ejaculation(And no, it is confirmed that it is not Christina's vag so don't get to excited). Since this is an exploitation piece, it should be expected, but keep in mind this may not be a movie that one would be comfortable playing with Grandma in the living room. And there is an over extended bit in slow motion for about 10mins of the film during a revenge scene. I love it when movies do these simple things, because it is such a classic morbid art flow similar to A Clockwork Orange, but it actually got past that point and I was worried something happened to my player because it just went on and on.

Overall though, I really enjoyed this movie and if you can keep up with 70's foreign(yes, subtitled) exploitation films that end with a loving selection of revenge then I would highly recommend this movie.