Tuesday, January 27, 2009

3D in 2009

Before spending the unfortunate time and money to see Valkyrie, a movie was previewed that caught my attention for both bad and good reasons. Any horror fan will probably have th same thoughts when I say the title My Bloody Valentine 3D... "Bastards remaking ANOTHER classic"... "Ooh, but 3D sounds nice"...

Well after days of whining I finally convinced Ray that we had to go and I will even pay... and as far as I am concerned BW owes me $20 haha! We got there atleast 15mins early to hopefully ensure good seats, and it should have been a red flag when the theater was empty and by the introduction statement "Please put on your 3D glasses now" there were only eleven people, including myself and Raymond.



First impression is the movie had a horrible flow and immediately jumped into action. No suspense, no needed buildup, but a mining pick threw the back of a kids head with a CGI animated 'eyeball' impaled on the tip. Fun to watch thanks to our overpriced snazzy single use glasses, but bad for a movie.

After this meaningless introduction of gore thanks to disposable teenagers, the scene closes with a group of fleeing survivors running to their truck outside the mine, making the decision to leave behind a fallen friend at the entrance. This kid Tom lives to see another day though because a group of parents are on the killers tracks and have a shooting showdown.



Years later Tom returns back to his feared hometown to sell the mines owned by his late father. While meeting with old friends and dealing with the mines, murder starts up again in the town leaving them to think that the killer has returned from the grave or a copy cat is in action.

Again, this had a horrible flow. The plus side with this movie is it actually had a good idea to refresh the original, but it seems like it got in the wrong hands. The acting was bad, but I will say that they had a weak script to work from. This is an obvious example of a pushed out movie that was only geared to make theatrical benefit without caring for a lasting impression. This is unfortunate because it had potential to be something really good but will make a horrible rental and I question the judgment of any individual that would consider purchasing it from their personal collection. Also, to rub some salt on the wound the gore was repetitive or fully computer animated... both are big no-no's in my book.

Im waiting for your review BW... waiting...

7 comments:

Chaosophia said...

who the hell is BW? better not be Bitch Winter or something.. cause firstly i'm not bothering with this movie and secondly i don't owe you twenty bucks :P

Balberith said...

Oh shit nigga, I think Bitch Wintah is very fitting. I was actually poking fun at Big Wop(Stef)

Caunedhiel said...

It was odd how they jumped into the gore, but I thought the FX were pretty damn good. I loved the woman ripped in half in the bed.

I was impressed that it kept me guessing. BUT, it didn't make me jump or scare me... and it felt way too long! Despite it's flaws, I felt it was okay. Worth the $6 I spent (we went early). But I'd have been pissed if I had spent $10. haha

PS- is the original worth seeing?

beedubelhue said...

I'm waiting on picking up the new special edition of the original with the gore intact before I tackle the new one.I'm probably gonna do them back-to-back,and of COURSE the 1981 original is heads and tails over the remake!Sheesh,I thought you would have really dug the midget broad getting whacked.I know I certainly did.Of course,I was there for all the stereovision 3D movies in the early 80's,so this was like a nostalgic stroll of sorts for me.But yeah,go ahead and wait!

Balberith said...

Yeah I think I am just turning into a gore snob or something because I am getting really specific about what I will accept as 'good gore' anymore. And yeah our tickets together were $19...gah...
The original is pretty different, but ofcourse with a similar spin. I would recommend watching it.

Hmm, I have the original release on vhs and it was a bit tame on gore, did I get fucked out of my video? It has running time of 91mins.. Time to investigate, I hate having cut films.
The last 3D movie I saw was some Michael Jackson one in Disneyland in the early 90's, so I HAD to see this haha.
We sat in the last row though, so I think it maybe didn't seem as dimensional because there was the clear border around the screen cutting off what could be '3D'.

Caunedhiel said...

I think I will check out the original. Like I said, it wasn't amazing but it was worth my time. Nothing wrong with being a gore snob. Shit, you make gore by hand. :) Oh! One of my all time favorite FX is Bride of Re-Animator, when Herbert is playing with the woman's tendons. The only part of the 3D that looked neat was the hand dripping with blood.

Soiled Sinema said...

I had so much fun watching the credits appear off screen.